The Experiment

Since the birth of our sixth child, I've been overwhelmed & haven't been able to shake this feeling of ... TOTAL OVERLOAD! After her surgery, our family settled down for a time ... then I started back to school in pursuit of a nursing degree. Schooling has taken me away from my family some, and I haven't been able to do as much for them as before. I've realized HOW MUCH I do for my family! Two things occurred to me ... 1) my children cannot function without me ... 2) I haven't taught my children how to take care of themselves! This is significant considering Teej will be on his own in a few short years. So ... I came up with an experiment.

Day 1 (2 days ago) I got up this morning and wrote "Experiment" on my mirror with a dry erase marker & tied a ribbon around my finger to help me remember ... not to lose my mind that is! I did my morning chores and cleaned up after myself & the two babies - no more. Initially, I was not to mention the word "chore" or ask anyone to pick up after themselves. Kiwi asked for permission to have a friend over, and that is when I decided to tell her “no”. She panicked and immediately asked why … I didn’t answer. She scrambled around the house and asked question after question as to what she needed to do or what she didn’t do. The night before she had slept on the couch, and the entire day the couch pillows were strewn all over the living room floor. She thought to pick that up with hopes that would resolve her dilemma. I finally said she was 13 years old, and I didn’t need to remind her of her responsibilities.

Day 2 (Yesterday) Today started with a prayer, a prayer for strength to keep up the ability to “ignore” the mess in my house. At one point I truly believed I would hyperventilate! Looloo asked if she and Maddette could watch a movie after they took care of their responsibilities. I told her how impressed I was that she would think to do that, and she said she knew I would tell her to anyway. Amazingly, chores were done … yet their beds were not made and their clothes were still on the floor (two things I think a functioning person should do on a daily basis). Even after Looloo began cleaning her bedroom because she thought that’s what was keeping her from watching the movie, I never caved … I kept my mouth shut, except to say they were old enough to know their responsibilities.
After dinner, I ignored the urge to remind Kiwi she had dish duty, and left the dirty dishes in the sink and on the table. At some point tomorrow we will run out of dishes, and someone will complain … that will be when I can calmly say, Kiwi didn’t do the dishes last night. Typically, the kids are assigned a day to do the dishes. If they’re not done, it is taken care of in the morning after they’re at school. I think I’ll let them sit until the person responsible does their job. Soon I will be working two 12-14 hour shifts in a hospital in Tulsa as a nurse. I need my family to function without me, if necessary. Brother Dave Young once told me that a successful president is one that can leave and the organization will still run properly. I have done too much, and I have not allowed my family the opportunity to learn to take care of themselves.

Day 3 (Today) Success! Tom, Tyler & Teej came back from a Father/Son campout and the dishes were oozing out of the kitchen. He complained and I said "the person who had dishes last night didn't do them"! Kiwi immediately said "I'll do it". (That actually irks me a bit ... that shows she knew all along she didn't do it.) ugh! So far my breathing is normal ... I may have to leave the house for a few hours. On the plus side, Looloo did her jobs this morning before she asked if she could play video games!